Dress: H&M; Cardigan: MANGO; Sneakers: KEDS

I often hear my friends complain on how they can’t get along with their parent-in-laws. May iba naman diyan, yung mga siblings-in-law ang hindi makasundo. This triggers tension in the family or worse, between you and spouse.

If you have this kind of problem, I have to tell you that you are not alone. Sa mga friends and mga kakilala ko pa lang, ang dami na nila so I guess maraming makakarelate sa problem na ito. It’s not surprising to have this kind of problem. When you married your husband, you didn’t just marry him. You actually married his family too whether you like it or not.

Baka mabwisit kayo sa akin because I will say that I am one of the lucky few who I do not have problems with my parents-in-law. Hindi nila kami pinapakialaman. I can say Alvin doesn’t have a problem with my side of the family too. Everything is all good in that aspect. However, I cannot say na never nagkaroon ng problem ever in our almost 9 years of marriage. What I can say is that everything is manageable because of what we did to prevent misunderstandings and because of our current set up now.

One, Wowa advised me that it is best if you do not live with your in-laws in the same house. Right after we got married, Alvin and I were actually invited by my MIL to live with them. We begged off. After a year or so, nagpatayo sila ng apartment beside their house so we can live near them. We begged off again. We begged off very politely with Alvin explaining to his mom that we wanted to try standing on our own. Kahit na saktuhan lang pera namin dati, we opted to rent a small, cramped house and lived there on our own. Wala naman masama dun and I think his parents understood. Pero the real reason behind that is we know that living with the in-laws, no matter how kind they are, can be a source of conflict between family members. Alvin knows about my resting b*tch face and I cannot mask what I really feel (lumalabas talaga mga bakla sa mukha ko), so iniwas na din niya ako sa future potential conflicts.

Second, it’s best if you have open communication with the in-laws. Establish the rules and boundaries. When they are in our house, our house rules governs. Bawal si Anika uminom ng coke often. She cannot eat chocolates. Kakain siya sa mesa. No gadgets. My in-laws and my side of the family know this. Hindi nila pinupush. However, ibang usapan na yan if nasa bahay ng grandparents si Anika. Pa-bebe, sobra!

Third, against quesihoda sinong in-law man yan, ang magkakampi dapat is yung mag-asawa. Your loyalty is always to your spouse. Walang laglagan. Dapat you have a united front. Pwera nga lang if loka loka mga asawa niyo and wala na talaga sa lugar. Kailangan na ng intervention yan. Pero worst case scenario na siguro yun. Otherwise, it’s a no-no when a spouse sides with his/her family. Apart sa nakaka-irita yun, well, nothing. Nakaka-irita talaga yun. Hahaha. Best if you resolve issues with the spouse. But you know, they said, never make your spouse choose between you and his family daw. At first, I didn’t agree with that. Pero not unless sobrang grabe na talaga ang ganapan, don’t do it. It will break your spouse because heller, that’s his/her family. Kung may choosing man na magaganap, for me, your spouse should choose you ng kusa without anybody making them choose. Hopefully naman you guys won’t need to come to that point.

Fourth, keep in mind that these people are your partner’s family. You still need to give the respect that is due to them. Diyan mo makikita yung breeding mo (and your patience of course). Remember, fighting back is not always the solution. Sometimes, silence speaks louder than words. Kung inaaway ka nila, deadmahin mo. What Sally says about Beth says more about Sally than of Beth, ika nga nila so remember that. Try understanding them too (kahit na sobrang hirap). Do not expect them to be the same as how oldies are in your family.

Fifth, know that it is not your responsibility to turn yourself to what your in-laws want you to be. You do not need to constantly prove yourself to them. Ang toxic nun, mga bakla. If hindi ka daw marunong magluto, get take out whenever they visit! Hindi ka daw marunong maglaba? Okay lang! You can afford naman to buy that 50k automatic washing machine. Ang gulo daw ng house mo? Okay lang! Masaya naman kayo and ang mga bata. They think you work long hours? Deadmahin mo. Hindi mo daw inaalagaan yung anak nila? Isoli mo kamo baka gusto pa dumede sa nanay nila. Charot. Don’t say that! Hahaha! It will start World War 3.

Sixth, be the mature woman that you are. Understand that you weren’t brought up by your in-laws and they are not necessarily obliged to like or love you. Napag-aaralan yan over time so don’t take it personally. Magka-iba kayo pinalaki ng asawa mo so pwede magka-iba kayo ng values and how you see things and that is okay. Try to see where you’re in-laws are coming from. If they are very pushy or they meddle when it comes to your kids, isipin niyo na lang that they care too much for the children. If malabo talaga makita, try again. If malabo pa din, deadmahin mo na lang rather than saying something bad back at them. Bite. Your. Tongue.

Lastly, I hope that it won’t come to this, know when to walk away and let go of these family members. Remember, ang important is yung family niyo. That is your priority now. If things around you are getting toxic and are threatening your marriage and your immediate family’s harmony, you have to stop and analyze na your priorities. Talk this through with your spouse. You do not need toxic people in your life.

I know there are too many to mention more incidents out there but the best advice is good communication. Talk with your spouse. Talk with your in-laws. Say what you feel, what you like, what you would want to happen and do it nicely.

It may not be much but I hope I was able to help.

Swimsuit: I LOVE KOI; Slippers: HAVAIANAS; Sunglasses: RAYBAN

Hi guys! Alvin and I just got back from our trip to Siquijor. I had fun. Ang sarap mag-adventure adventure dun. I’m uploading the photos for my blog now. While waiting (ang daming photos, promise!), I came across my swimsuit photos. Thank you for the nice comments and all the likes. I really appreciate them.

Pero hindi kasi ako mapakali mga bakla. I feel like an impokrita to just sit back enjoy all those flattering comments like as if natural na natural sa akin ang ganyang katawan.

To tell you the truth, my tummy is big and definitely not photogenic. Halos pulikatin ang tiyan ko kaka-stomach in just to tuck in my tummy at its flattest. That photo was taken after I ate a big lunch and after I’ve had a few drinks. Kita niyo naman sa sides, kita yung taba pouring out of the bottom of my suit.

Why am I telling you this?

I want to tell you this because not everything you see in photos of other people are the way they are. Don’t think that. May mga exemptions of course diyan sa mga talagang gifted na mga tao pero many of the sexy photos out there are edited. I have been very transparent that I edit my photos using Beauty Plus. I make myself longer kasi normally, my head looks a lot bigger than my short body. Lagi pa akong naka-ponytail so mukha akong alien in photos.

Also, I’m not naturally thin. One thing na maganda with the anxiety depression that I recently went through was I lost 12 lbs. Kaya ako pumayat. For me to maintain that, I have to not eat as much as I like. Malakas ako kumain before as in like 2 rice levels. But now, I don’t eat rice. I try not to eat sweets or anything na mataas in carbohydrates during the week. When I eat a lot like what I did this weekend, I feel like throwing it up. I don’t though. Bulimia na yun. I feel like it lang meaning I’m not happy when I eat a lot. I feel guilty. I feel like running a marathon afterwards para lang ma-burn siya. May ganyang effect na sa akin because I’m conscious about re-gaining all the weight I lost before.

I don’t want naman to be stick thin. Alvin doesn’t like it too. Ang gusto ng lolo niyo is yung mga cheerleader type na katawan. May laman pero medyo athletic ang built. Ganun din ang gusto ko. Fat and muscle in the right places. That’s why I exercise at least 3x a week. If I don’t get to exercise, ganun din. I feel guilty. Nakakapagod but I have to do it if I want to maintain my weight and for the happy hormones.

What I’m saying for others is don’t feel bad if you don’t look as “thin” as those other women in social media. I receive messages like that. Gusto ko sabihan sila na sa totoong buhay baka hindi naman talaga ganyan hitsura nila. Don’t beat yourself too much about it. As long as you’re happy and healthy, it should not matter what you weigh. Confidence in oneself is the key. Hindi naman lahat ng tao diyan nagagandahan sa katawan ko pero wapakels sa kanila. I’ll post what I like. Nakakadala yun, mga bakla. Besides, if they don’t like, they are super free to unfollow, right?

Don’t get stressed or inggit (I feel that sometimes) with the sexy photos of people around us. But if naaapektuhan na talaga yung happiness mo, I guess it’s time to check the diet. Eat healthy and exercise. It’s attainable.

Osha, basta ganun. Again, the important thing is that you are happy and confident with your body no matter what your size is. Don’t compare yourself to others. You’ll feel bad lang. Hindi mo alam baka yung kinakainggitan mo eh photoshopped pala. I’m not saying na lahat ha? I’m just saying not everything in social media is what it seems. Alam niyo na din yan.

Good night everyone. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Having a sprained ankle meant I needed to stay home this weekend. Sayang because I wanted to go with Wowa to the new Uniqlo Flagship Store in Glorietta 5. Ang tadhana nga naman. It made sure hindi ako gagastos this weekend. Lelz.

I realized importante paa ko talaga for me #SayWhut?

I should be more careful in playing and exercising next time otherwise #TeamBahay ako lagi and I don’t want that.

Anyway, lemme tell you na lang about my weekend last week.

Nung Sunday, Anika and I went twinning in our @StyleAnaPh skirts.

We went to SM Aura super early so I can exchange the clothes that I got for Alvin at Levi’s. He needed to bring them in his business trip to SG last Saturday. We had coffee at PAUL.

Their salted caramel coffee was so delicious that I didn’t mind even it made me palpitate.

I ordered this thing and I will never order it again. Sobrang tamis and sobrang mahal. Not again.

Anika’s Strawberry tart was sulit though. It was good.

Our bill for that 15 minute morning merienda was about Php 600. Ka-sayang. I shouldn’t have ordered the white pastry na yun. Sayang.

We were able to exchange the items I got for Alvin. I was able to buy him also polos at Uniqlo.

ALVIN: I cannot believe XL na ako.

Yes Babe. I’m sorry. Lelz.

We had a quick lunch at Rockwell. We went there because I thought that the Par8de Trunk Show was until Sunday. Hindi pala.

We ate at Zaifu and Anika and I ordered a California Maki each.

The day before that, I met up with Anika, Wowa, Faye and Isabel in Glorietta. I had work so I asked Wowa to pick Anika up. Girls day out ang peg. We missed LT though.

Isabel was in her cute, adorable self. She borrowed Anika’s phone and kept calling her imaginary friends.

She also just learned how to walk and cuteness overload talaga. I love babies who just learned how to walk. Ang cute nila panoorin.

I wish we can do this every weekend. Kagigil si Isabel, ano? =)

Top: LABLE.PH (check out their instagram account); Pants: UNIQLO; Shoes: NINE WEST

I have to get something off my chest.

You know that when I blog, it actually makes me think so please bear with me.

Nagiisip ako if I should keep blogging or stop altogether na.

One of my blogging idols, Chuvaness, has stopped posting blog entries for quite some time already. Napaisip tuloy ako bakit hindi na siya nagbablog. As you have noticed, dati I was blogging very frequently. Minsan twice or thrice a day pa ang mga blog entries. Ngayon, padalang ng padalang na.

Hindi ko alam if nawawalan na ako ng gana or maybe because I got sick lang of this anxiety disorder or hindi ko na alam if may sense pa ako in this blogging world. Napakadami na kasing nagsulputang blogs out there. As in madaming madami especially celebrities. Iniisip ko if nakakasabay pa ba ako. May relevance pa ba tong mga pinagsusulat ko or mga pinagkukukwento ko sa inyo? Did I lose my blogging mojo already?

I’ll have to admit, dumating yung time that I got very conscious of the numbers of hits. Bumaba siya ng di hamak last year. It affected how I saw myself as a blogger. But my friends reminded me that I never blogged because of the hits. I blogged because gusto ko magkwento ng magkwento ng kung ano ano about my life. I never blogged because of the money. However, napaka-impokrita ko naman if I’ll say wapakels ako sa income na nagegenerate ng Mommy Fleur Blog. For years nasusustain niya yung mga luho ko. Dumating yung time na nagipit kami ng bongga ni Alvin and yung income ko from blogging helped us in paying for the monthly expenses.

Pero bakit nga ba talaga ako nagbablog?

I’m blogging because as morbid as it sounds, I want Anika, Alvin, my family, friends and those who know me to have something to read about me even after I die. I don’t want them to forget me. I’m blogging because I want Anika to be able to recall how much I love and cared for her. I’m blogging because I want to have something to read about when I’m old and gray. Gusto ko mabasa yung mga kalokohan ko nung bata bata pa ako. I’m blogging kasi I know I am able to help other women out there. Kahit na ba comic relief man lang sa buhay nila ang macontribute ko, masaya na ako.

I remember blogging kasi sobra kong daldal and kaysa mga dingding and halaman ang kausapin ko, dito ko na lang kinukwento.

I need to go back siguro to those basic facts, ano?

As long as blogging makes me happy, I should continue.

What do you think?

Top: KAMISETA; Pants: UNIQLO; Sneakers; KEDS

Naalala ko na naman that nurse at the ER when I had my Xray. Umasa talaga kami ni Alvin.

Lalo na ako. Even days after that incident, umasa ako. Kunwari deadma lang that I’m almost 10 days delayed. Hindi ko masyado pinagkakalat. Sinabi ko lang kay Alvin, kay Janis, kay Pineda, dun sa isa kong friend, dun sa isa kong staff and dun sa mga volleyball team mates ko. Konti lang sinabihan ko kasi ayaw ko kumalat.

Kinikilig ako because I wanted mangosteen so bad. And then I craved for lanzones. And then I ate isang bandehadong kanin with a lot of shrimps last Monday when Pineda came over. I felt hindi ako nabubusog. I ate a lot. As in non stop ang kain ko. I gained 4 lbs since coming back from Siquijor. Success na nga talaga ito. Tapos I remembered pa one of my officemates telling me that he got his wife pregnant nung napilay yung wife niya. Nakapagpahinga daw kasi yung girl kaya nabuntis. Baldado din ako ng ilang araw kaya this is it. Ang laki laki din ng tummy ko. First time I didn’t care.

Taba lang pala lahat, mga bakla.

I had my period this morning. If my foot wasn’t maga lang talaga, nasipa ko siguro yung inidoro sa bwisit.

Paasa talaga tong tadhanang ito.

Binalikan ko tuloy yung 4 lbs that I gained because of my imaginary paglilihi. Iba talaga ang feeling masyado na buntis agad.

Ewan ko na talaga. Kinareer naman talaga namin ni Alvin dun sa Siquijor. Wala akong napala. Katabaan lang.

I can’t wait for my sprain to heal and get back to exercising. My foot looks like parang bagong sali lang siya sa fraternity now. Kakatapos lang niya i-hazing. It’s color violet. It still looks like a baby dinosaur’s foot. I can drive na though. Ang sakit lang pag yung biglang break. Nakakaluha. But I am thankful I can walk na.

Osha, mageexercise na ako starting on Monday whether magcooperate tong paa ko or not. Hindi naman paa ginagamit sa sit-up di ba? Lelz.

Enjoy the midweek guys!

I spoke too soon, hindot na yan.

Anika brought out her Filipino Mastery Test last night during dinner. 20/30 ang score niya. 70% passing (ikr) so it means she failed. Lekat na yan. How can she fail? We have been reading Tagalog books!

When I went over the test and started asking questions. She can read the sentences alright but she doesn’t know the meaning of the words!!!!!!! Ano ba naman ito?! Magmigrate na daw kami sa Canada kasi dun daw walang Filipino subject. When I was going over her test, nakita ko tumutulo na luha. She’s sorry daw for disappointing me. Partida, wala pa akong sinasabi niyan. I was just quiet. Na-guilty naman ako. I told her I wasn’t mad because I knew that she did her best.

Nakakaloka. I asked her to read a Tagalog book right there and then and asked her randomly what a specific word meant. Biik, hindi niya alam meaning. Humagulgol, hindi din niya alam. Wala, olats. Bawal na English speaking in the house now.

ME: Simula ngayon, bawal na magEnglish sa bahay.

KA LYDIA: Never mind Anika. It’s okay. I will teach you Filipino. I am good in Filipino.

I looked at my mother-in-law.

KA LYDIA (laughing): Ay oo nga pala! English pa din yun! Tuturuan kita ng Pilipino. Magaling ako diyan.

Hahahaha!

It’s very different during our time. Panghila ko pataas ng average yang Filipino subject. That and P.E.. I always get 98 in P.E. because I was part of the varsity team. Pambawi ko ang mga yan. Ngayon baliktad. Anika’s Filipino grades pulls down her general average. Akala mo lumaki sa Amerika eh.

There’s no one else to blame but me and Alvin naman. Napapa-English na din kasi kami ng wagas when we’re home. Akala niyo ba, mahirap din ang may English speaking na anak noh.

ANIKA: Tatay, I want Yakult.

ALVIN: Then get one in the rif.

Rif. As in rifrigerator.

Yung “don’t be road!” na yan? We are always like that at home.

Lalo na pagpinapagalitan mo.

ME: Anika, stop doing that!

She doesn’t stop.

ME: Anika, I said stop doing that! One more ha!

She still doesn’t stop.

ME: Anika!

Hindi pa din tumigil.

ME: Anika I said! If you!! I said!!!! Bahala ka nga sa buhay mo!

Ganyan.

Wala. Malapit na ako magconcede sa Filipino na yan. Anika’s prohibited in watching English cartoons. Ito, wala siyang choice with the Princess Sara cartoons na Tinagalog.

Bahala na nga si Batman.

So today, Alvin, Anika and I were supposed to spend the day together. However, the electricity at home kept on fluctuating. We had no choice but to go without Alvin so he can fix the house. Nakakainis. I was looking forward to this family day. Anika and I went to the pedia first.

This is what I wore:

Dress: LIALOVEPH

You know, until now, I can’t wear heels or wedges. It still hurts my sprained ankle. Kelan ba gagaling tong ankle ko na ito? Before, 1 week lang okay na. Ngayong matanda na, magwa-one monthsary na ito, painful pa din. Grrrr.

This is what Anika wore.

Shirt: PRIMARK; Jumper: SM KIDS; Shoes: CONVERSE (thanks LT)

It’s been two year already na ayaw na magpa-pakiaalam si Anika with her outfits. She chooses what she wears. It frustrates me because she doesn’t wear the girlie girlie clothes that I buy her. Alvin told me na hayaan ko na daw so she can express herself well. Buti kako cute si Anika kaya okay sa kanya whatever outfit she wears. Lelz.

Anika has asthma daw now, her pulmo pedia said. She’s taking PED 20 in syrup. This is new to me so I googled it. It has steriods =c Kalungkot and scary but Alvin said to trust the pedia because he will not give it daw if not necessary. May wheezing sound na kasi again na narinig sa lungs niya eh. If one family member has asthma, it’s inevitable to inherit it ano? I’ll make Anika do sports para exercised ang lunchs. I wish she continued her swimming lessons.

After the pedia, we went to visit Isabel and LT. The two looked adorable.

Kakigil talaga tong si Isabel!

We had lunch at Friday’s in Glorietta after. I got Anika a lego set for her high test scores. Ang kapalit naman ng low Filipino test score niya is no gadgets again until further notice. Last week, Anika saw Toots’ collection of lego toys in his condo. Na-addict ang bagets. She wants to build legos all the time! Ang mamahal pala nun! I told her that I can buy her whenever she has good grades as long as the lego is on sale. Pero she should take care in keeping it after niya pagsawaan. I wanna give it to the cancer patients in the pedia ward of PGH. They give it to the kids kasi as reward for every chemo treatment. Kaysa nagkakalat kalat lang di ba?

Wait speaking of toys, in Rustan’s pala, you can create a Christmas gift wishlist for your kids. Parang gift registry. They will give you a number and if you buy toys for that specific number, less 10%. Okay din.

We went to Pineda’s house afterwards because they weren’t done yet finding why the electricity was fluctuating. I went meat and chicken shopping afterwards. We were home by 430pm and Alvin and I watched Lord of The Ring while Anika assembled her new lego. Chill na chill naman. Alvin’s at the bar again tonight. Ganyan talaga pagbar yung business. Need mo tuunan ng pansin. Sana naman madami dami customers tonight.

Daan kayo there ha and let me know. I’ll try my best to go pagnandun kayo =) Dun na tayo magMommy Fleur Day!

Happy weekend everyone!

Dress: LIA LOVE PH

To say that I had a difficult day yesterday is an understatement.

Walang tumama kahapon mga mare. On top of it off, nasira yung blog for a while. It couldn’t be accessed. Kung hindi ka ba naman talaga masiraan ng bait.

Work was extra toxic. When I say this, please don’t get me wrong. Hindi ako nagrereklamo sa trabaho ko. I love my job. It’s just that minsan, nakakapagod pag sunod sunod yung things that don’t go like how you want them to go. Pasaway. Gusto ko makipagsabunutan sa inis.

Winner paguwi ko ng bahay kagabi.

For three weeks, we had problems with the service entrance of our electricity meter. Inabot kami ng long weekend kaya tumagal lalo the coordination to have it fixed. The electricity flickers inside the house. So for two weeks, we couldn’t use the hot water sa shower and no air conditioner at home. Alvin, Anika and I had to sleep in the sala with two electric fans para presko.

You have to know, hindi ako natutuwa sa electric fan. I feel sad pagtinatamaan ako ng hangin ng fan. Hindi ako masyado makatulog. Ganyan ako for almost 3 weeks. Yes, I was able to sleep but hindi maayos. Alam niyo yun? Pero tiis because we were still applying for a new CEI which is a requirement of Meralco for them to fix everything.

Okay lang in the evening na electric fan. Girl, on weekends, pasakit. It was so freaking hot! Kahit na 2 electric fans na gamit mo, mainit pa din. Emergerd.

Finally, yesterday morning, after more than 2 weeks of sleeping in the sala and de-tabo ang ligo with hotwater, bumigay na talaga our electricity. Hindi na pwede gamitin. Ang sakit sa bangs. Halos magsigawan na kami ni Alvin sa phone the whole day because of the stress of thinking of ways how we can have electricity that night. Imagine me stressing about that the whole day plus sobrang daming hindi din tamang nangyayari at work. I wanted to scream.

I cried on my way home out of frustration. I was able to find a way how to fix it pero hindi talaga kaya magkaron ng electricity last night.

So last night, probinsya without electricity ang peg namin. My phone was low bat and everything kaya naman wild.

Alvin didn’t want to stay in a hotel. Pineda and Faye offered their houses na to us. Ayaw pa din ni Alvin. I couldn’t understand him. Feeling ko, gusto lang niya ipa-experience sa amin ni Anika yung ganung very, very simple na life. I didn’t want to go anywhere naman without him so we stayed.

Good thing this happened during this time of the year. Presko ang hangin. Malapit na kasi ang Christmas. Good thing also talaga that I designed our house na tagusan ang hangin. That was what the big windows were for. Ayun, even though we were sleeping in the sala, hindi naman kami jinabar last night. Except for Alvin na init na init sa mundo niya (hindi ko kasi alam bakit siya naka-comforter noh), okay naman kami ni Anika. I just wasn’t able to sleep well. I have not been sleeping well for three weeks already kaya I shall sleep early now.

Finally, our house was energized this afternoon. Good mood na agad kami ni Alvin haha! Parang yesterday lang, we wanted to strangle each other. But you know, it’s all about partnership. Okay naman last night despite ang dilim sa bahay tapos walang kahit electric fans. We were making kwentuhan. Nakaka-close din. I cannot imagine how single moms go through with their lives without partners. Kahit na gusto kong sabunutan si Alvin because we were arguing how we were going to fix this problem, I am still thankful he was there so I can share the problem with him. Okay pa din may katuwang sa buhay.

When I got home kanina, I opened all the lights and I laid down on our bed. God, I missed our bed.

I was telling Anika a while ago why we had to go through that. I told her kasi maybe God wanted us to experience not having aircon and electricity para we can appreciate these things. Small learnings even during tong mga times na nakakainis. I want Anika to learn that in every difficult situation, there’s always a lesson.

Osha, super antok na talaga ako.

Kita kits!

Humada ako, mga bakla, last Saturday! Bitbit ko ang Alvin, Anika and Lyn.

Our day started out very early because we had to be at Anika’s school before 7:30am for their recollection. This is a “requirement” daw before she can have her first Holy Communion. I didn’t have to drag Alvin’s butt out of bed because nagkusa ang lolo niyo bumangon. He got home very late from the bar the night before. Puyat. Eh ang usapan namin, wapakels kung magpuyat siya diyan sa bar niya basta he has to make sure alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic siya pagmay need puntahan the next day.

He’s fulfilling naman his end of the bargain but I can see that #TheStruggleIsReal for him.

Hahahahaha! Bahala siya. Ginusto niya yan.

We were running late. I wanted to be at school early so we can eat breakfast muna bago the recollection. I drove because I drive faster than Alvin. I must have driven fast because we were in CSA in 15 minutes. We were able to eat breakfast and then left Anika with Lyn at the school grounds because the kids were not allowed in the recollection.

The recollection was from 7:30am to 11am. We left at 9:30am. Yung ADHD ko hindi uubra anymore sa ganun kahahabang naka-upo lang. Besides, Alvin was already sleeping beside me. Nagyaya na ako umalis before he started to snore.

After the recollection, we went to the Kids Ink event at the Bonifacio High Street mall in BGC. Bago yung mall. Fantastic kasi ang ganda! It’s beside Shangri La BGC. You should check it out though there are still a lot of stores that are not open yet except for the Kids Ink which I will blog about very soon.

While looking for the Kids Ink store, I asked Alvin to take my OOTD photo. I wanted to have that wind blown effect. Since walang wind, sariling kayod kami.

I asked Lyn to throw my skirt and run away as fast as she can.

Fail.

Anika offered to do it since she said she can run faster than her Ate Lyn.

Top: H&M; Skirt: STYLE ANA PH; Shoes: TORY BURCH; Sunglasses: RAYBAN; Bag: BALENCIAGA

PAK.

Perfect shot!

Galing ni Anika. It really does take a barangay to create that perfect OOTD shot. Lelz.

After that, we went na to the event. There was a part there where they had to interview me for my favorite finds. Naconscious ako ng slight because everybody else was ayos na ayos. Ako, since we were running late nga, I just put my hair up in a ponytail. I wish nagplancha man lang ako ng buhok. Anyway, past is past so let’s move on.

Ayun na nga, when they were about to shoot me na for the video, I saw Alvin outside tinkering with his phone. I asked him to come inside. Paki picturan kako ako for the behind the scenes photos. Sabi ko isama yung camera.

Hindi ko naman sinabi na angguluhan naman ako ng maganda so ito yung mga photos that I got from him.

Wait there’s more…

Ito winner eh. Ganda ko dito.

Lalo naman dito. Kamukha ko daw si GMA.

Sarap lang talaga sakalin ni Sombrero. Saya di ba?!

Sinita ko while we were having lunch and tawa lang siya ng tawa.

ALVIN: Sabi mo picturan kita. Pinicturan naman kita di ba?!

Mapapa-iling ka na lang talaga eh.

Anyway, we had lunch after that and then I brought home Alvin. Baka masakal ko talaga ng tuluyan. I drove because sleeping beauty ang peg niya all the way to the house.

After that, I just changed clothes and then Anika and I left to attend the birthday party of one of her former classmates who is the son of one of my CSA amigas. Si Anika okay because she was asleep all the way from the mall to our house and to the party. Nakapag-power nap.

After the party, I brought Anika home and met with Pineda and our high school classmate, Billy.

Hay naku si Billy. He is quite a character and you have to love him to be able to like him. But that’s for another blog entry. Maloloka kayo promise.

It was a very busy day and yet I felt it was a productive one. I took advantage kasi of that Saturday because hindi nagset ng meeting yung boss ko. I was able to spend some time with Alvin and Anika.

Osha, it was quite a Monday so I’ll pour myself some wine, open a popcorn and watch Netflix. Tulog na ang Anika and wala pa si Alvin. Alvin said he’ll go daw to the bar sandali. Kakausapin niya daw yung tenant sa taas ng bar nila kasi may konting problema. Kanina pang 5pm yun. Alas-diyes na ng gabi now. Talo pa nila ang senate hearing sa tagal magusap. Kaloka.

Good night peeps! Have a great week ahead of you!

Good morning, guys!

I have pa pala one last blog entry about our Amsterdam trip a couple of months back. I was too lazy to post it na but looking at the photos now, it will be a pity not to share these extra pretty places called Edam and Volendam. Para kang nasa loob ng isang postcard when you’re there.

During the last days of our stay with Papa, he took Peachy and I too see Edam and Volendam. After ito niya mag-swear in as a Dutch citizen. The ceremony was held in the morning. We had lunch and went na to make pasyal. It’s around an hour’s drive lang from Amsterdam.

Edam is a village in the North Holland province of The Netherlands that has a community of 7,000 residents. When you’re there, it’s as if you’re transported back to the 17th century! You have to know also that Edam is the original source of the well, Edam cheese. Lelz.

Outfit of the day first.

Yuh. Namasyal ako ng naka-semi formal attire. Good thing the weather cooperated at hindi ako nanginig sa lamig while going around.

I saw the Edam Town Hall.

This Town Hall was built in 1737. It’s still in in active use for marriage ceremonies daw.

Check out how pretty this little village is. Parang Instagram worthy kahit yung mga canals nila. Pero iba naman kasi ang canals in Amsterdam compared to the canals of Manila.

This is the St. Nicolas Church. It’s also known as the Grote Kerk and it was built in the early 15th century. It was rebuilt in the 17th century after it was damaged by a fire caused by a lighting that struck it. I wish we were able to go inside that church. Astig siguro bilang it’s mega old na.

When you’re at Edam, you can just walk around and around and around following the cobbled streets. Don’t wear heels dito or wedges if you don’t like to sprain or twist your ankles while walking. Hindi flat yung streets.

Before going to Edam pala, we went to Volendam first. Papa already took us here when were younger. We were forced to wear the Dutch traditional costume and pose for the camera. Papa still has that photo with him somewhere. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, naka-frame and display pa ata yung sa house niya. I’ll show it to you when I see it again.

In Volendam, we brought Peachy to a wooden shoe factory. I cannot imagine using wooden shoes pero Papa said that according to the locals, they’re really very comfortable. Once you get used to using it, hindi ka na daw babalik sa normal shoes.

Volendam is also in the municipality of Edam-Volendam. This is a fishing village with a population of 22,000. We went straight to the harbor where you can see the old fishing boats.

Volendam is famous also for their Herring…

And Papa showed us how to eat it.

The weather was perfect when we were there.

On our way to Edam, we passed by this dike. I was curious because a saw a bench on top so Papa pulled over.

Ang ganda sa taas mga bakla. You can see that the water on the other side of the dike was much higher than the land on the other side.

Happiest birthday to my long time bff, Peachy!

Yeah, everyone had to have their photos taken on that bench. Hahahaha!

It was like a scene out of a movie. Parang ang sarap din magjogging dun sa taas ng dike. It was hot, cold and windy at the same time. Ang sarap din tumambay there ng may ka-holding hands and magkwentuhan until sunset. I’m going to bring Alvin and Anika here when we go back next year. Matutuwa tiyak yung dalawa.

Ang sarap magbaksyon! Let’s work more so we can vacation harder.

Parang baliktad?!

Hahahaha! Have a great day guys!

Top: MANGO; Pants: COTTON ON; Sandals: ALDO; Bag: KATE SPADE

May 13th month pay na mga guys.

Wala pa ang 13th month pay ko pero ubos na siya sa mga things to buy ko na nasa isip ko pa lang. Don’t worry, I’m not buying a lot for myself except a new pair of Tory Burch flats and maybe a new Christmas, New Year and birthday outfits. Lelz.

I’m buying things for the house. Yung bahay ko na hanggang ngayon hindi pa din na-lalandscape. Kamusta naman kasi yung landscaper na kinuha ko. 20 years bago mag-ocular! I want to buy a new chair for the corner of my mini library. I want to buy paintings. Magkano na ba ang isang Amorsolo ngayon? Okay. Hindi naman ako bibili nun. Yung mga sa SM lang siguro. I want to buy a new fridge. Gusto ko yung malaki. Yung kasya kaming dalawa ni Alvin. Gusto ko yung madaming pinipindot and madaming kino-close open. I want to buy a bigger dining set. I want to buy new curtains. Alam niyo ba na may shortage ng PLAIN DARK GRAY curtains dito sa Metro Manila? I have been all over almost all department stores pero walang stock ng plain dark gray curtains. Kaloka. Lastly, I wanna get big indoor vases and plants for the house. Ang mamahal na ng halaman ngayon ano? I think they only increased their prices nung na-uso a

Speaking about gastos, how’s your Christmas gift shopping? I’m starting mine pakonti konti. I figured that when I buy in advance, nakakatipid ako more compared sa cramming shopping. How I wish there’s a one stop online shop where we can order nice gifts for people ano? Here are 12 more Christmas gift ideas (just click on the link):

1. Personalized insulated lunchbox from Esheartph

2. Reusable straws from Yani Espiritu

3. Citrus Grapefruit Sanitizer Spray from Botanicals In Blooms

4. Christmas cookies from The Little Whisk Ph

5. Turn your kids’ drawings to necklaces by La Real Jewelry

6. Photobooks from Fire Tree Designs Ph

7. Wowa’s cookies! Message her through her FB account

8. Me-anne’s cupcakes (0917-3075907)

10. Happy Inc Ph jar

11. Sunnies specs for kids

12. Lia’s avocado cheesecake

Next naman, food ang ilista natin here! =) Christmas get together food ideas! =)

I had this really scary and creepy dream last night.

I was in my car daw and I was caught in traffic at the west service road in Paranaque northbound. There was an accident pala dun sa South Super Highway southbound. The accident scene was very detailed in my dream. May white na car na parang yuping yupi na. Nobody survived the accident daw and they were all brought na to the hospital. It was traffic because the cars were slowing down to make usi. When I slowed down, I saw a guy in a car in the accident scene who seemed to be sleeping. Sabi ko, may naiwan na accident victim. I thought he was dead but then he regained consciousness. Dinala siya sa hospital. And then right then and there, I noticed I had a huge lump on the upper right side of my chest. Apparently, I was in the accident too and I was looking at the scene on a third person’s view. Creepy di ba? They brought me to the hospital then I zoned out.

When I regained consciousness, I saw Wowa standing over me beside my hospital bed. She said that I was in a coma for 24 hours na. I asked if I was dying. She told me yes. She told me that I have a hemorrhage in my head and I have only 24 hours to live. She told me that ng walang ka-emotion emotion na para lang pinaguusapan namin ang weather. I was wondering why she wasn’t crying. Analyzing my dream now, I cannot remember when I saw my mom cry so wala sigurong basis yun kaya hindi ko nakita sa dream ko.

I looked around the hospital room but I didn’t see Alvin and Anika. Parang wala sila dun sa life ko at that moment. My mom asked if I wanted to see this guy, one of my ex-boyfriends. Apparently, in my dream, nandun kami sa period na siya yung boyfriend ko. I said yes and then he went inside the room. He wasn’t crying either. Parang normal na normal lang that I will die in 24 hours. I think that was what bothered me more than dying. Walang umiiyak.

I asked for my phone and called my dad in Amsterdam. Bakit kako wala pa nagsasabi sa kanya? I tried calling him but couldn’t contact him. I thought to myself, I cannot die without my papa by my side, heller. I called Pineda too. She asked me how I was ‘coz she heard I was in an accident. I think akala niya hindi major kaya chill lang siya. That was when I started to choke up. I told her to come to me na because I’m dying in a while.

That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up.

Gumising ako na ang bigat bigat ng chest ko. I transferred to where Alvin was sleeping and tried to make siksik sa kanya. He spooned me and wrapped his arms around me. Things felt better after nun. I tried going back to sleep but I can’t anymore because I was bothered bakit walang umiiyak sa dream ko.

It was a creepy dream.

One of our kasambahays when I was young told me an old wives tale what to do when you dream about something that you don’t want to happen. Ikwento mo daw ng ikwento para hindi magkatotoo kaya eto todo kwento ako ngayon. The details were very vivid in my dream. Parang when that happens (knock on wood), deja vu talaga ang lalabas.

Thinking about it now, I realized I wasn’t able to pray before I slept last night. May lagnat kasi si Anika and I fell asleep na minamassage yung back niya. That’s why. It always happen. I have bad dreams whenever I don’t pray before sleeping.

Scary.

I’ve always thought that life is short. As morbid as it sounds, I’ve always had this feeling na early ako mamamatay eh pero I’m not prepared to go yet. Anika’s very young. She still needs me and ang dami ko pang gustong i-experience with her. But because of that, ako si seize the moment. Travel! Experience ano mga pwedeng experience. Kaya ako maligalig. Hahahaha. Sabihin ko nga yan kay Alvin mamya para ma-gets niya ako why I always want to travel or to go on vacations with them. Kaya nga ganyan yung picture na nilagay ko for this blog entry eh. I want to remember the happy times. I want to remember yung mga panahon na pwede pa ako magsuot ng ganyan. Time will come na hindi na talaga keribelles mag-ganyan outfit kaya samantalahin.

Osha. It’s a gloomy outside and I think it’s going to rain. Stay dry and safe everyone! Happy Thursday!

Dress: MYKA LIMCHOC; Shoes: NINE WEST

After a super long time of not posting anything, Chuvaness, one of my all time favorite bloggers, blogged again last week. Tuwang tuwa ako when I saw it. Chuvaness, along with Frances Sales, Saab Magallona, Tina Tagle, are some of the very few blogs na natutuwa ako basahin because real siya. These are the blogs that are both informative and parang nakakachismis ka sa buhay nila. Masarap basahin because may wit, may humor and hindi boring.

That is the reason why I got really sad when I thought CVS stopped blogging. Nabawasan ang binabasa ko.

In her recent blog post, she mentioned that Instagram killed blogging. She’s right. Everybody’s in Instagram na. Even ako, I find myself writing mini blog posts in Instagram. It’s an instant kwento which is easy to do and easier to read ng mga followers. Pa-instant ng pa-instant na ang preference ng mga readers ngayon. Hindi ko nga sure if may mga tao pa out there na nagtiya-tiyaga to read personal blogs on a daily basis. Baka lahat nasa Facebook na nga and Instagram.

Also, I noticed, ibang iba na the blogs nowadays. Eight years ago when I started blogging, ang mga blogs out here are personal blogs. Wala masyadong advertisement. Raw sila and ramdam mo talaga from the heart ang articles. Sadly, nagbago na the blogs ngayon. Parang naging commercialized yung mga blogs. Ang sad. Hindi mo na tuloy alam if authentic ba talaga the things that they are endorsing. Bihirang bihira yung blog na balanced yung pagka-real niya and yung pagadvertise ng mga kung ano ano. I know a few bloggers who still have integrity in writing about products that they really like lang. They don’t blog about the products because binayaran lang sila. Ginagamit talaga nila yung produkto. Yung iba kasi “may-ma” eh. As in may masulat lang.

A few days ago, I received a message from a friend who sells stuff online. Sabi niya, “Anong isasagot ko sa mga ito?”. One lady was asking if nagbibigay ba siya ng discount pagblogger. Another lady was messaging her to asking her for products so that she can endorse daw her online store.

OKAY. I WILL GIVE MY OPINION ABOUT THIS PERO BATO BATO SA LANGIT, ANG TAMAAN WAG MAGALIT HA?

This is my blog and walang pumipilit magbasa sa inyo nito. If tamaan kayo, reflect kayo ng slight bago kayo mag-amok.

Number 1, I don’t understand why some “bloggers” feel that they are entitled to discounts. Baket?! Business is business. You can buy or not buy. May mga puhunan din ang mga yan and need nila kumita. Bumili ka muna kung gusto mo talaga. If kilala ka ng seller, she will give you a discount.

Number 2, I also do not understand why some “bloggers” ask for products para “ma-endorse” nila. Hiyang hiya ako sa ganyan. Not unless for a charity event, I do not ask for free stuff from brands.

People, we are not entitled to discounts. We are not entitled to free products. These are given to us ng kusa ng sellers IF THEY FEEL NA MAY MAHIHITA SILA SA ATIN.

MAHIHITA (verb), meaning: may mapapala.

Meaning, you need to establish yourselves first. Magtrabaho ka muna. Grow your blog. Pagandahin mo. Build your credibility. You need a following. You do not need to have a huge number of followers. Ang kailangan is influential ka. Your readers need to trust you. The brands need to see that your readers trust you enough to try out the products that you write about. You need to prove this first and this can take you years. Walang instant sa credibility, mga bakla. Bini-build yan.

If you have already done this, kusang lalapit ang mga brands sayo.

If feeling mo credible and established ka na, dun ka magstart i-alok yang sarili mo sa kanila.

Remember guys, these sellers have a businesses. May mga puhunan ang mga yan and siyempre ayaw nila malugi. These business owners also have evolved. Natuto na ang mga yan all these years. They do background checks sa mga bloggers/”influencers”. They look at your social media accounts. They check the engagements. They check the comments. They read your blogs. Tinitingnan nila how ka magsulat.

If inalok mo ang sarili mo and the brands see that you have not established yourself yet, mapapahiya ka lang. Remember, first impression lasts.

I also learned that naguusap usap these sellers. They share among themselves who the bloggers they like and who they don’t like. Sino yung nakaka-deliver and sino yung hindi. Remember that.

So my point is, LET YOUR WORK DO THE TALKING. Ayusin niyo muna your own branding. Work on it. Brands and income will follow. Trust me.

I know that some of you, ang gusto lang din is makatulong lalo na sa mga local sellers. If that is your goal, hindi niyo kailangan humingi ng libre. Buy something from them if you really like their products then post it online. Mararamdaman yan ng seller if marami kang referrals. Dun ka nila bibigyan ng products ng kusa so you can advertise them.

I have a suggestion too. If you are serious about all of these, get yourself a manager para sila yung magaalok ng blog mo sa brands. With this, you can concentrate on your blog while the blog manager works on getting advertisers for your blog.

Yun lang guys. To the newbie bloggers who are reading this, I hope hindi niyo masamain. You just need patience, the right attitude and passion in what you’re doing. Your blog will grow. Promise.

Happy weekend =D

“Hustle until you no longer have to introduce yourself.”
-anonymous

Top: I forgot where I got this. San nga ba ito ulit?! Pants: UNIQLO; Clutch: TORY BURCH

Are you guys mindful of how your Instagram feed looks like? I mean, have you seen the instagram of people na talaga namang may theme and uniform sila? Ang gaganda di ba? How I wish my Instagram’s like that too. I had at least 3 attempts to post photos with a theme. I edit the colors in a way na pare-parehas siya. Ang problema, dapat yung pinopost na photos pala, dapat may pattern din. For example, you can post the OOTDs lang every after 3 posted objects. Or alternate like, post an object, then a person, then an object, then a group of people, then object then OOTD.. gets niyo what I mean? That’s apart pa dun sa pagedit ng photos na dapat uniform sila.

Check out the instagram accounts of

The Misty Mom 
Vern Enciso
Nadine Lustre
Camille Co
Melissa Gatchalian

Ilabas na natin na ang gaganda ng mga babaeng yan kaya medyo effortless na maganda din their IG. But if you look at their feeds, their photos look uniform pero hindi pareparehas. Parang pinagiisipan talaga ang edits and ang pagpost. I want that. Kaso I’m trigger este post-happy eh. Hindi ko macontrol what I post. If I feel like posting something at that moment, I post it! Hindi ako napapakali if hindi ko ma-post. Wala ako patience to wait for the right time to post photos if timing lang and pattern ang paguusapan. Grrrrr. Parang if I mind it sobra, ang dami kong photos that I won’t be able to share agad or not be able to post at all (hindi pumasa sa theme standard).

Maybe that can be my theme instead siguro: Labo Labo Theme

Ang laki ng problema ko, no? Hehe. Magconcentrate na nga lang tayo sa world peace.

Anyway, because of work, I’m not able to spend much time with Wowa and the rest of the gang. I’m looking forward to the holidays para walang pasok. Magyayaya siguro ako lagi ng get togethers (if hindi ako tulog, that is!). We like eating at the Japanese restaurant in Makati where Faye lives.

WOWA: Kain tayo dun sa masarap na Japanese restaurant sa may Makati Cinema Square.

ME: Ano name?

WOWA: Pokenifuji.

ME: Ano po?!

FAYE: Tita, Kukifuji po.

Kukifuji pala. Masarap dun. They said authentic daw talaga the Japanese food kaya lagi siyang puno. You need to make reservations to have a seat especially during lunch and dinner.

Hopefully also this coming holidays, I will be able to blog more. I know the moms reading this is laughing at me right now. Good luck siguro sa akin because holidays are very busy especially for mothers. Moms need to buy gifts for the kids. Moms need to buy gifts for her family. Moms need to buy gifts for her in-laws. Moms need to buy gifts for her godchildren. Moms need to buy gifts for her husband’s god children. Moms need to buy gifts for the husband. And I need to buy Alvin’s gift for me too. Tama di ba? =D

I wanna blog more sana. I will try my best to find time. Especially the Sombrero Sitcom. Naipon na eh. Katulad last week while we were driving to a kiddie party.

ME: Babe, si Ninang Lina pala na-operahan!

ALVIN: Bakit?

ME: Ang bagal ng heart beat niya. Nilagyan siya ng peacemaker.

ALVIN: Peacemaker? Bakit may kaaway ba siya?

Natigil ako.

ME: Hindot. Pacemaker!

Tawa ng tawa ang Alvin. Ang patola talaga nitong asawa ko hahaha!

It’s a long weekend and I’m wishing you all a fun and restful one.

Ciao ciao!

Dress: FOREVER 21; Wedges: NINE WEST

Last week, one of my friends told me ang pessimistic ko daw. I paused for a while because I was looking for a way how to be able to explain it.

Hindi naman ako actually pessimistic. I can just think of a lot of things that can actually go wrong. Ayoko kasi ng umaasa eh. And at a very early age, I went through things na hindi magaganda so I know hindi lahat ng bagay that will happen to you will be in your favor. Good things naman daw happen to good people. I know, but I also know bad things happen to good people. How can you explain kids going through their parents separation? They don’t deserve it di ba? But they go through it. That’s what I mean. At this point of my life, aware na aware lang ako sa mga things that can go wrong. Hindi ako nag-eexpect masyado because we all know that when things don’t go the way we expect them to, masakit.

However, we should not revolve our lives on pessimism. Mali naman yun. It’s okay that you are aware of the things that can go wrong pero para lang ma-ready yang feelings natin. Also, okay din yun kasi prepared tayo sa mga plan B to Z natin.

Are you like me?

We need therapy ata. Hahahaha!

Natatawa kasi ako eh. Sometimes, when I’m not able to control it, I get so affected by it.

For example, when I’m in a new place, say in Europe, I get all agitated because iniisip ko, “Naku! Ang ganda ganda dito! Kelan kaya ako makakabalik dito? Baka hindi na ako makabalik! Sayang naman.”. See? I have just arrived and yet I’m thinking about kelan ako makakabalik.

Another example is when Alvin embraces me out of the blue. Or biglang kikiss ng wala lang. Yung biglang magiging sweet? Sa sobrang dalang niya gawin yun and sa sobrang sabik ko sa ganun, parang gusto ko maiyak eh. Iniisip ko agad kelan niya ulit gagawin sa akin yun?

Wag niyo akong gayahin.

I’m trying to find a way to work around the way I am. I don’t want Anika to be like me when it comes to overthinking things. I know I won’t be able to change myself anymore given I think naka-embed na yang personality na yan sa mga buto ko. But I can always improve and yun yung ginagawa ko now. I give myself pep talks many times a day. I pray. I exert effort to be more positive.

Naalala ko si Anika.

ANIKA: I’m sure I’m going to have low grades na naman.

ME: Don’t be like that. You studied naman. Be positive!

ANIKA: I am positive that I will have low grades na naman!

Kalokang batang ito! Hahaha!

Bottomline is self awareness is the key to self improvement.

Tara. Balik na tayo sa milyong milyong things to do natin ngayong Pasko.

Top: KOKO AND VAN; Pants: LEVI’S

While waiting by the office elevators last Monday, I found myself laughing. As in tawang tawa ako, men. If you have seen me, akalain mo nasisiraan ako ng bait.

I was laughing because I was thinking about all the things that I had to do.

I had to prepare the weekly reports for the Operations Meeting meeting that afternoon.
I had to study the reports prepared by my staff for the Operations Meeting that afternoon.
I had to set the RFO walkthrough of 3 projects.
I had to check the status and output of the call brigade for the 6 projects that I tasked my staff to do.
I had to do the reports for the Mancom meeting the next day.
I had to think about and arrange who would be picking up my dad from the airport because his schedule changed.
I was mentally fixing my schedule for the week so I’d know when I can do the groceries.
I had to ask my kasambahay what to buy in the grocery store.
I had to ask someone to wrap the Christmas gifts for Anika’s classmates.
I had to ACTUALLY BUY the Christmas gifts for her classmates.
I-che-check na daw yung First Holy Communion attire nina Anika this week. Wala pa siyang white shoes.
I had to think about the potluck food that Anika has to bring for her Christmas party.
I don’t have an outfit yet for our Vogue themed company Christmas party this week.
I have yet to complete my gifts for my officemates, staff and family.
Wala pa din akong makitang landscaper for our house. Anong petsa na?!
I had to make the practice tests for Anika’s final exams.
And then I went back thinking about work if mainit kaya ulo ng boss ko ngayon and kung papagalitan ba niya ako today.

Ang dami eh. Hindi ka ba niyan matatawa? Partida mga bakla, the other things that I had to do, I have delegated already. So salang sala na ang mga yan as my things to do.

Very timely naman, I chanced upon this article entitled The Mental Workload of a Mother. Have you guys read it? Lahat na nandun, girls. If you are a mom, you will be able to totally relate to that post.

Generally speaking, alam ko naman na lahat ng nanay ngayong holidays ay ngarag. However, for this particular post, allow me to dwell sa mga working moms.

I salute the stay at home moms kasi hindi ko alam how they do everything that they do — on a daily basis. Pero nowadays, parang gusto kong patayuan ng shopping mall este rebulto ang mga working moms. Wagas ang challenges that I encountered these past few weeks. Ramdam na ramdam ko na isa nga akong working mother.

Like with the stay at home moms, working moms have different levels of difficulties that they face. The SAHM’s daily load depends with the number of kids or if may yaya or wala. Isang level of difficulty yan. With the working moms, the degree of difficulty that they face is like that of the SAHM plus the demands of their work. If hindi that demanding and very flexible ang schedule, heaven yun. But if you have a job like mine na 8am-6pm with pasok sometimes on the weekends tapos medyo toxic ang trabaho, it can be really challenging.

I know all mothers need to mind their kids. They worry about the family’s health and safety all the time. Sasabay pa diyan yung husband na late uuwi na nenerbyosin ka kasi hindi mo malaman if makaka-uwi ba ng matiwasay sayo. Like what the article said, mothers think about so many things like doctor schedules, extra curricular schedules, meal planning, kids’ school and how they are faring, running the household and making sure may stock ng soap, food, cooking oil, socks and briefs ng mga asawa. There is also the minding of the emotional needs of everyone in the family (including ours).

For the working mothers, take all of those things a mother thinks about and add to the additional things we think about and do outside the house.

There’s waking up super early in the morning to get ready for work despite being up all night taking care of a child na may lagnat. Or waking up super early to go to prepare the baon and then go work despite coming home very late kasi nag-overtime.

There’s coming home super late na tapos laspag na laspag ka na sa pagod but then you still have to check your kids’ school stuff if ginawa ba nila yun. I’m telling you, mas nakaka-bobo yung pagcheck ng 1 + 1 na simple math after a very long day in front of all the formula you needed to do in Excel.

There’s the very long drive to and from work. Lecheng traffic sa Metro Manila yan. Nakakadrain. Grabe lalo those who are commuting and nakikipag-agawan ng jeep in heels just to be able to come home in time for dinner.

There’s the guilt of working instead of staying at home. It never goes away.

There’s dealing with a boss. A boss na hindi mo ka-ano ano kaya hindi mo pwedeng deadmahin. My boss is mabait and he understands that I am a mother first and foremost. Kaya naman whenever Anika’s sick and I tell him that I have to stay home, wala ka na maririnig sa kanya. However, he is also demanding. He demands from us our best. Mahirap magrelax kasi hindi pwede yung tatanga tanga ka. Alert lagi. You need to focus in what he’s saying para hindi ka mapagalitan but at the back of my head sometimes, namemental list ako ng mga need ko bilhin after work sa grocery.

There’s yung aasikasuhin mo ang mga hanash ng 40+ na office staff mo. Can you imagine having 40 kids? Ganyan din ang may 40 pax na staff.

There’s yung gumagawa ng mga reviewers kasabay ng mga reports. Come on, aminin niyo na yan that you’re doing that. We do that because there is simply no more free time to do it.

Nandiyan yung tatawag sayo yung school clinic in the middle of a very important meeting kasi pinapasundo your sick child. Larga ako niyan after apologizing profusely to my officemates.

Get the picture? =D

Those are just some of the things that a working mom experience that is different from a stay at home mom.

Para kang may dalawang klaseng mundong ginagalawan: being a mom and being a career woman.

It’s definitely not easy. If you are at work, iniisip mo yung bahay. If nasa bahay ka, iniisip mo yung work. Sa sandaliang na-relax ako kasi wala ako ginagawa, I feel stressed because baka kaya walang ginagawa kasi may nakalimuta akong gawin. I feel that bawal ako pumetiks and dapat alert lagi because I am scared I will fail on one or both (being a mom and an employee).

Obviously, kulang na kulang talaga ako sa time. Saan nga ba ako pwede bumili ng time at magho-hoarding ako?! Despite Alvin being great at helping out, kulang pa din ang oras eh. The weekends are not for relaxing anymore. They’re for errands na lang that you were not able to do during the weekdays.

May short kwento ako. I passed by the grocery store near our office because I had to buy something for Anika. It was lunch time. Inside the grocery store, I saw a mom na fresh na fresh: nakashorts, sleeveless top, Tory Burch shoes and ang bango bango niya. She was leisurely doing the groceries aisle by aisle. Hindi nagmamadali. Samantalang ako, I was running around looking for where the bread was because I had to go back to the office by 1pm. May meeting pa kasi ako.

Hulas.

How I wished maka-experience din ako ng leisure grocery shopping. Yung titigil ka to smell the mangoes. Mga ganung levelz. Siguro ngayon holidays magagawa ko yun. 24 hours nang bukas ang SM Hypermart. Maggogrocery ako ng 3am and hindi ako magmamadali. Pak.

Kasama na din diyan na there is no time for facials, manicure, pedicure, waxing, shopping, chikahan with friends ng walang time frame kasi may need pang gawin afterwards. Alam niyo ba that I need to have endoscopy but I never got around having it done? Need ko siya ipagawa mga 5 years ago pa. Hahahaha! I’m sorry, I know it’s wrong. We need to prioritize our health. I promise to have it done asap, it’s just that parang walang time lagi to do it. If magka-free time, nilalaan ko kasi yun sa check ups naman ni Anika. Or if walang check ups si Anika, wala naman yung doctor ko. Wrong timing always.

Don’t get me wrong. Nakakagimmik naman ako sometimes. I am able to stay up late and have some drinks.

You just have to pay the price the next day. Hahaha! Have you experienced having a hangover and acting like you have none para wala na masyadong mga taong ang mga bagets?

High five to my fellow working moms. I get you. I feel you. We’re the same. Kaya natin ito. I know I have a lot of advice for time management and about work life balance however may mga panahon talaga na punyeta, hindi mo maaapply na yun.

This is the reason why I am amazed when I see a full time working moms who look put together. Ang galing. Sana magpaseminar sila. I shall attend!

Why do I do it? I am often asked that question. Well, despite all the chaos, I love what I do: both being a mom and a working mom. It completes me. Angelina Jolie sums it up on point:

“I think if you love what you do, and the choice you’ve made in your life, somehow that drives you forward to enjoy it all. Even the chaos, even the exhaustion of it, and even when it seems out of balance.”

In short, kahit nakaka-hibang, if you really like what you’re doing, push lang mga ateng. Kakaiba din kasi yung fulfillment.

Ariba!

I super love the dress that I wore last Friday to our company Christmas party. The theme of the party was Seasons Of Vogue. Hindi ko gets yung theme. They said parang Fashion Week daw or something you can find in the runway. Ang hirap pa din mag-isip ano yung so finally they said basta kahit anong fashionable. Ah ganun ba? Mas mahirap. Lelz.

You know me, I didn’t have time to go to the mall to find an outfit. I was browsing and browsing Seek the Uniq but I wasn’t able to find The Outfit. Ang daming magaganda kaso wala nagpatibok ng puso ko ng extra eh. You know what I mean.

It was destiny yata that Pineda sent over clothes from Koko And Van for me to try. One of the dresses there was this black side boob dress. Two days before the party, I fitted it and showed it to Faye and LT. Maganda daw. Sabi ko ito na nga lang. Lalagyan ko lang ng katakot takot na double sided tape.

I did my own hair na make up and this is what I looked like that night.

Kabog yung likod eh. I made sure I put some foundation on my back. Gusto ko din sana magkaron ng back muscles which are the equivalent of abs ng likod but there was no make up for that. Haha!

This dress made me feel to go back to the gym more. Mas maganda talaga the fit of the clothes if you’re fit. Time to go back to exercising.

I’m super happy because naka-tipid ako with my outift. The dress costs Php 600 only. My hair and make up was free. Kita mo yun. When I was online shopping, the dress that I was looking at was around Php 2,500. Buti na lang I waited the last minute. I didn’t buy it agad. Risky but it turned out okay naman, don’t you think? =)

Anyway, it’s only 9 days to Christmas, kamusta kayo?

I’m okay but a little terrified. Our trusty kasambahay made paalam to go on a vacation for the holidays.

I’m dead.

Anika still has school next week and I also still have work.

I’m so dead.

Yesterday, I asked Alvin to teach me how to cook rice. I mean, I know how to cook rice but it’s been years since I last cooked it. I just needed a refresher. And besides, wala kaming rice cooker. Ayaw ni Alvin. Mas masarap daw kasi yung manual na sinaing. It doesn’t matter. Kahit naman sa rice cooker nasusunog ang sinaing ko eh.

Good luck talaga sa amin.

OMG magNo-Noche Buena pa. Order na lang! Where do you guys order food? Yung masasarap ha like tried and tested na.

Pa-abang sa instagram my journey as a working mom without a kasambahay. Journey amp. Hahahaha! Parang 3 weeks lang naman wala si Ate namin. But I know it wont be easy so please pray for me. Charot.

Nakalaya na ako yesterday.

Charot.

Hahahaha!

Alvin finally allowed me to go out of the house. We went to Alabang to check a property, went grocery shopping and had late lunch. I was so happy when I was going around the mall. Sa totoo lang, nahilo ako ng slight and parang nagjelly yung legs ko while going around. Pumirmi ka ba naman sa bahay ng laging nakahiga ng 2 weeks eh. I didn’t tell Alvin anymore. Baka kaladkarin ako bigla pauwi. Hehehe.

This is what I wore.

Dress: UNIQLO; Bag: QUIRK MANILA

Remember the dress that I showed you when I did my closet raid? Anika found it and wore it when we went out. She fixed her outfit all by herself.

Dress: SFERA; Denim Jacket; H&M KIDS; Sandals: PAYLESS; Bag: QUIRK MANILA

Of course it was still too big for her. I knotted it by her shoulders para hindi siya maging side boob dress.

Gosh, I hope Anika and I will have the same dress and shoe size when she grows up. Malaking tipid ito for me. I can just imagine yung irarason ko kay Alvin whenever I’m buying things.

“Sulit ito Babe, promise. Dalawa naman kami ni Anika gagamit.”

I can’t wait!

I went back to work today.

20 days post partum and I’m back to my daily grind. If not for my bleeding, I would have gone back to work earlier.

Today, I woke up at 5am. I did my daily meditation. I brought Anika to school. I said my morning prayers at Santuario de San Antonio. I went to the office. I had 2 meetings. I organized a lot of things that I have been itching to fix while on leave. I picked up Anika at the school clinic right after lunch because she had sinat. Alvin picked her up at the office so they can go home earlier. I went to one of our projects for a walkthrough. And then I went home.

Ngayon, ang sakit ng katawan ko. Lelz. I feel like I just came from the gym.

That’s what 20 days worth of lying down can do to you after doing a little work but gosh, I missed doing something other than lying down, eating and watching TV.

Here’s what I wore to the office.

Dress: WILLOW CLOTHING; Shoes: KEDS; Necklace: PIESA.PH; Pouch: NINE WEST (Thanks Janis)

I was in heels the whole day. Good thing I have my trusty Keds to change into pag may biglaang site visits.

A lot of you were insisting for me to stay home and finish the whole 60 days of maternity leave. A lot of you are also asking why I went back to work so early. Kasama na diyan ang boss ko. Some of you even sounded like you think I’m such a loka loka for not availing the maternity leave benefit. Imagine, 60 days worth of paid leave of absence from work?

I know you all mean well pero mga bakla, I really want to go back to work.

Sa totoo lang, batong bato ako sa bahay these past few days. I know myself. If I avail of that long maternity leave, it wouldn’t be healthy for my sanity. I am the type of person who needs to do something. Not just anything, something na I feel may purpose ako. Otherwise, I go loco.

If I stay home, nakakalungkot. Alvin and Anika are at work and school most of the day. Wala akong kasama sa bahay. Yeah, I can Marie Kondo my whole house but it won’t satisfy me. I can go malling the whole day, meet with my friends and do the things any normal person who is not busy does pero hindi ako masaya eh.

Ayoko magmaternity leave because for me, I feel that they’re for women who actually gave birth and have a baby to take care of.

Wala talaga akong baby na inaalagaan eh.

If I stay home and do nothing, maiisip ko lang the baby that I never had. Maiisip ko lang Ate na sana si Anika. Maiisip ko lang na ang sarap siguro ng may bine-breastfeed, pinagpupuyatan and pinanggigigilan. And then I cry. I don’t want to be sad anymore. I wanna move on and working helps keep my mind off these sad thoughts.

Akin lang yun ha? Some women who had miscarriage avail of this leave because they need to recuperate, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. Kanya kanya din na coping mechanism yan and this is mine.

So that’s the reason why I opted not to avail of the 2 month long maternity leave.

If only siguro Alvin and Anika can take time off from work and school, mag-out of the country siguro kami for 60 days. Yan payag ako magleave. But no. It’s okay though. We can have a vacation, the 3 of us, in the right time.

Thank you so much for all the support you have been showering me since day 1. I really, really appreciate it. I pray that one day, I can meet you all so I can say thank you in person.

I’m cooking something up. Hehe. Sabihan ko kayo agad *wink!*

Dress: TOPSHOP; Cover-up: ZARA: Shoes: TORY BURCH

Belated Happy Valentine’s Day, guys!

Kamusta naman your hearts day?

For this year, Alvin, Anika and I stayed home. Traffic was so heavy that day. Hindi na ako nagtangkang umikot pa more sa mga projects namin. I just chose 2 projects sites and that was it. I stayed far away from Sta. Mesa and from the Pasig area. Ang traffic. Ang dami din kasing nagmo-motmot. Wag natin silang i-judge though. Kanya kanyang trip yan. Walang pakialamanan.

We just had a nice Valentine’s dinner at home with Lolo Papa. Alvin got us flowers which were extremely overpriced. Alam kong effort yan kay Alvin so I was happy. I got Anika a cake from Red Ribbon. I wasn’t able to order a customized cake because as usual, kailangan madalian because I was cramming. I have a funny story though.

While I was waiting for them to call me dun sa discharge area ng mga cakes, ito yung area where the Red Ribbon staff was writing down the dedications on the cake…

STAFF: Mr. Roberto?

A tall, buffed but old man with a tattoo raised his hand. Mga 70 years old na siguro si lolo groovy.

MR. ROBERTO: Akin ba yan?

STAFF: Yes sir.

Mr. Roberto suddenly stood up. With a grand flourish of both his arms, he said in a very loud voice, “ILAGAY MO DIYAN, I LOVE YOU, LINDA!!!”

Nagulat ako. I was looking for Linda. She wasn’t there.

The staff opened the cake that he ordered. He ordered a Black Forest.

Patay. San mo ilalagay diyan yung dedication?!

STAFF: Umm sir, hindi po pwedeng lagyan ng dedication itong nabili niyong cake eh.

Mr. Roberto slowly put his arms down. “Ah ganun ba? Sige, di bale na lang.”

I felt for the old man. Nabasag yung trip niya bigla. But I was so touch with his declaration of love. It was so sweet. I wonder if asawa niya ba yun, though. Lelz. I wish Linda was there and I wonder what she will do if she saw Mr. Roberto’s declaration of love for her to everyone. Maiinlove sa kanya yun more. Love is for all ages talaga ano? Old and young, walang pinipili ang pagmamahal (and ang pagka-cheesy).

Belated Happy Valentine’s Day again!

Sorry for being MIA, mga mare.

Nastress kasi ako sa bleeding ko. Binabantayan ko talaga na mawala. I didn’t have the energy or the inspiration to write because I was worrying why I was still bleeding. Thank God, humupa na siya last Tuesday. Bigla lang siyang dumating ulit yesterday because I carried a sack of 10 kilo rice from the grocery to the car. Mali. Now, hupa na siya again. It’s so stressful grabe. Being a woman is stressful. A man cannot say that a woman is weak. Sasampalin ko magsabi nun. Let’s see if they can endure 9 months of pregnancy and then the childbirth. Or yung dinudugo ka every month? Or the emotional and physical strain of a miscarriage.

Naalala ko tuloy. I insisted on doing the ManCom presentation pa even though sobrang sakit na ng puson ko. Nagle-labor na pala ako while presenting our reports. I did a site walkthrough pa in 3 projects the day after and nakilamay pa ako sa patay nung gabi. Mantakin mo yan. Nobody can say I’m weak. Sa shopping siguro, yun, weakness ko talaga yun. Basta something that doesn’t have anything to do with EQ, strong ako diyan.

Anyway, that’s not my topic for today.

We went to Tagaytay for an overnight staycation to celebrate Wowa’s birthday.

She found this place called Esteraha Remils Tagaytay.

I’ll show you the place.

They have a common area where you can eat, sing videoke, watch TV or just lounge around. Dito kami nagdinner and breakfast. This is also where we did videoke and played that really funny game Toots made us play.

That yellowish structure was where Alvin, Anika, LT, Faye, Mooch, Lyn and I slept.

That is how it looked like inside. It has it’s own toilet and bath with hot shower.

The other cottage looked like that inside. I didn’t want to stay there because nakaka-suffocate sa loob with all the bunk beds na dikit dikit. This room also has a toilet and bath with hot water.

That is the view if you are standing on our room’s porch. I like the big, open space because Anika and Isabel was able to run around and play.

They had cabanas. Masarap siguro magpa-massage there. I attempted to have a nap kaso Anika kept on bothering me to play. Nakunsensya ako kaya hindi na ako nakapag-siesta. Ayoko mafeel ni Anika na pinagpalit ko siya sa tulog although nandun na ako sa point na okay lang siguro na isipin niya yung for just one time. Hahaha!

This was where Wowa and my cousins slept. There are 4 beds and 1 bunk bed. This cottage doesn’t have a bathroom. Yung structure sa tabi niya, yan yung CR nila. It doesn’t have a hot water though.

The place had a small pool. Sobrang lamig, nagnosebleed si Anika. Maybe okay mag swim dito during summer time. My concern is that, if full yung place, siksikan siguro sila sa pool.

I like the relaxing swinging chairs that they have scattered around the property. I caught Russ reading a book in one of those chairs. Ang comfy lang niya tingnan.

Here are my thoughts about the place:

1. Mura siya. Wowa paid for Php 5,000 for 10 pax. Mura yun for me because of the amenities nung venue. May pool despite being small. May mga cute cabanas. Malalaki ang rooms.
2. There is an additional charge if you want to use the airconditioning units. There are electric fans naman and malamig ang weather given that it’s in Tagaytay.
3. They do not provide towels or toiletries (toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, shampoo). They have a sari sari store though that sells them.
4. They also sell a lot of things like coffee, paper plates, paper cups, de lata at kung ano ano pa.
5. You can cook there pero common ang area. If hindi niyo solo ang place, madami kayong nakikiluto. Madami kayong makikigamit ng cooking utensils.
6. Videoke is only until 10pm which was super bitin. Baranggay regulations daw nila.
7. Liblib yung place where the venue is. I was a bit scared. Hindi ko masyadong bet ang security nila because hindi ako satisfied sa locks ng rooms and access.
8. There’s massage. They can call the therapists for you.
9. No food served there sa place. Either you go out to eat (mga 15-20 minutes drive to the restaurants) or cook.

These two are so cute. Thank you Faye for their matching rompers.

WOWA: Kakagising lang ba ni Anika?

ME: Tinatanong mo ba yan kasi mukhang nakapajamas siya?

WOWA: Hindi. Magulo kasi hair.

Ah. Yun naman pala.

Lelz.

This is Wowa’s birthday crew. My immediate family, you know them na. My cousins from my mother’s side. They’re the ones sitting at the top beside LT. Matatalino ang mga yan, like promise. I like talking to them because lagi akong may natutunan na something new. Wala akong masyadong contribution sa conversations namin except comic relief.

We ate at Green ATS for lunch bilang there are no meals being served dun sa resort.

I asked Alvin to take a nice photos of me.

ME: Babe, picturan mo ako. Yung maganda ha? Kita dapat yung Taal.

Sarap niyang sabunutan.

I asked Faye to take my photo instead.

Try niyo in Green ATS in Tagaytay. Okay din. Hindi masyadong mahal.

We wanted to eat Tawilis but apparently extinct na ata. They still haven’t removed them in the menu. If you order it, bibigyan kayo ng fish na hindi Tawilis pero kamukha niya.

We went back to the resort afterwards while Wowa and LT went to the market to buy ingredients for our dinner that night. Pictorial pa more ang peg namin sa resort.

Before eating dinner, I took out the tin can cakes that I ordered from Alvin’s cousin, Nessie and Karlo.

Feeling ko ang taba talaga ng utak ko! I wasn’t able to order a nice big cake because I didn’t know how I would transport it from Manila to Tagaytay. These tin can cakes were perfect. And they look nice, don’t they?

I ordered in different flavors. Clockwise from the top: Cashew Sansrival, Dream Cake, Red velvet, Carrot Walnut and Mango Cheesecake.

Wowa took home the Cashew Sansrival because favorite niya yun. Anika took home the Mango Cheesecake kasi favorite niya. I was pleasantly surprised with the Carrot Walnut kasi ang sarap. The Dream Cake was talagang dream cake dapat ang tawag kasi oozing with chocolate inside and dream ko makain ko siya. I also recommend the Red Velvet. Yan talaga ang original choice of cake ko from them.

Mukha namang masaya yung Nanay ko =D

The next day, we just had breakfast and then we got ready na to go back to Manila. Check out was at 11am.

Top: H&M; Skirt: Styleanaph (Instagram); Wedges: ALDO

I’m cherishing these remaining moments when Anika is still happy we do twinning clothes. When she grows up and dumating na siya sa stage that she thinks sobrang baduy to have matching clothes with her mom, I hope she knows how happy and giddy I was whenever we did twinning when she was younger. Ang lakas maka-close and maka-happy talaga.

We did last minute pictorial again before left. That’s Toots by the way.

Happy 66th birthday, Wowa! I hope you had fun!!! Thank you for your weekend treat!